Wondering if you’re addicted to mountain biking? Here are 20 symptoms to watch for:
1. You to go for a ride on your local trail network and you can’t keep the smile off your face for two days afterwards. People think you have a new special someone in your life and refuse to believe the smile really is from riding your mountain bike.
2. You start to price new mountain bikes and wonder if you can afford to buy a new one. After some crazy math and other ways to justify your purchase, you find yourself in a bike shop asking if you can demo a bike or two. You end up buying a mountain bike for $1,500 more than you budgeted.
3. You have more pictures of your bike than you do of yourself.
4. You realize your jersey no longer matches your bike and head to the bike shop to purchase one that does. You come home with a new dropper post, tires, and grips but forget to buy a jersey.
5. The chainring tattoo on your calf is actually a tattoo and not grease from the chain.
6. You head to a function with other mountain bikers and think it’s totally normal that everyone is dressed in plaid.
7. You balk at spending money on your car but have no problem spending the same amount of money on your bike.
8. You realize that your mountain bike is worth more than your car. You then realize your mountain bike has more miles than your car.
9. You wonder why you haven’t seen Jane around for a while, then you remember that she doesn’t mountain bike.
10. You’re out on a date and they mention that they don’t mountain bike. You start to find ways to end the date early.
11. Your bike shop knows you by name and sings happy birthday to you when you come in to buy yourself a birthday gift.
12. Your friend shows you her new engagement ring and you think of the bike she could have bought with the money her fiance spent on it. Meanwhile you’re secretly hoping the wedding happens during the off-season.
13. You wonder what this “off-season” is that people talk about and decide they must be talking about something else.
14. You head back to the bike shop to buy that jersey you had forgotten to buy earlier. You come out with a new fork and forget to buy the jersey again.
15. You wish all food came in bar form that you could eat on the go.
16. You understand what N+1 means, where N is the number of bikes you currently own and hope that you’re never in a position where N=S-1, which is the number of bikes your spouse lets you own.
17. Your spouse lets you build a pumptrack in the backyard so you’ll stay home more often.
18. Your spouse starts to grow a beard and you don’t even notice.
19. You finally notice your spouse’s beard and you wish he would grow a mustache like Steve Smith instead.
20. You walk into the bike shop and finally buy that jersey, but only because you needed new cleats for your shoes. You forget to buy the cleats.
I should add one more…
21. You know you’re addicted to mountain biking when you register for an event because it sounds like fun, but you need to hire a coach to help you prepare! (You can contact us here!)
I’ve got every single symptom… How did you fair?
I originally wrote this in 2013, but so much of it is still true!